You hurt your what?

Josh and I have made a commitment to use proper words.  This is not an easy task.  I don't like to use proper words.  I like to talk fast, and make up words, especially when they are uncomfortable words.  For example, ding dong instead of penis.  Sorry if you are now blushing.  However, I have come to see the benefit to using proper words, at least some of the time.  I am becoming more used to them, and in saying them, out loud I hope my children will also become less sensitive to them and be able to talk to me (or daddy) about embarrassing things in the future.  Which I for one am hoping is YEARS and YEARS to come, but am suspecting is right around the corner.  I know, this isn't really all that likely, but still.  We do what we can. 

I have to say, it is working to some extent.  The boys are not the least embarrassed by the words penis, breasts, even *chringe* vagina.  OMG.  Did I really just type that?  Outloud...so to speak.  I often hear "He hit me in the penis!"  "Stop touching my penis!" hmmm, that one made me pause, and was followed by a conversation about not touching someone else's penis.  And "I fell and broke my penis!"  Not sure if that is possible.  Is there a bone in there?  Hmmm...gonna stop with that train of thought right now. 

The newest thing is wondering why Scarlett's penis is so different from theirs.  It goes something like this.

"Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"Why is Scarlett's penis so funny looking?"

Silence.  "What?" Please God, he did not just ask that?

"Why is Scarlett's penis so funny looking?"

Yep he did.  My first thought is 'and a penis isn't funny looking?' but I restrain myself.  Then, "well, she doesn't have a penis."

"Yes she does.  Otherwise, how would she go pee?"

Hmmm, good point. "She doesn't go pee out of a penis.  She has a vagina, and that's where the pee comes from."  Ok, I have to pause at this point.  I apparently didn't pay attention in sex ed, because I have NO IDEA if this is the right terminolgy for what I'm talking about.  However, it seems to be the only word I can come up with that won't get me, or them, in trouble at school. 

"Oh, well, that's weird.  Can she stand up to pee?"

Sigh, "No son, she can't.  You would think so, but it doens't work that way.  Unfortunatly."

"Ok."

Later, I hear the boys explaining this whole crazy phenomenon to Scarlett.  She seems to like the idea, but I'm not really sure she gets the difference.  I say this with good reason.  As I picked up Scarlett and the neighbor girl from school on Monday, her preschool teacher made a point to come out to the car.  Uh oh.  She hit someone.  Nope.  She just fell on the playground.  They wanted to be sure I knew, so I that I wouldn't be wondering about the scrapes on her knees.  Also, her teacher wanted me to know that she bumped her "private parts."  Apparently hard enough to make her cry, poor thing.  She ran up to the teacher and said "I fell down!  And I hurt my PENIS!"  They all got such a kick out of this they just had to share it with me; thank goodness they all know she has brothers or can you imagine what they would think?!  What can you do, but laugh until a little bit of pee comes out!